It’s finally, finally over. Naps and hearty handshakes all around. We really, actually did it. We beat the Clintons, the toughest political campaigners on the American scene. After that, what kind of match is John McCain?

I’ll write more on this in the days to come, but something amazing has happened tonight, and I am grateful to be alive for it. Only four short years ago, the notion of a young, bold, African American idealist becoming the leader of the oldest party in the country, the party of Jefferson and Roosevelt, was so patently absurd that it seemed more on the level of science fiction than any real development that might actually exist in the world I occupied. At that time we had the less then energizing John-Kerry-Bot, and we were trying to make do with that. He was smart, good, and able, but the future was looking more and more like the past, and you could feel it in the dampened spirit of the Democratic Party. Then with one speech, in a keynote address at the Democratic Convention that year, the world met Barack Obama, and he shot a hefty dose of adrenalin into the veins of the party and changed the definition of what is possible in America. I saw him give that speech, and for the first time in my life felt that politics might not be entirely dirty and fowl and self interested. That it could instead be hopeful, and decent, and uniting. That one man could, really, change the world. It was a good moment.

And here we are now, as a country, on the day, in the time, at the moment of history. Barack Obama turned me from a cynical political junkie, into a cynical political junkie who was able to believe in the possibility of real progress, real movement, and real ideas - not for the sake of power as and end in and of itself, but as a tool to serve the people who provide that power. We very seldom have the opportunity to witness history in real time, but today we do. So lets feel good about it in the time that it lasts, before the jackals set about trying to destroy and discredit the most powerful and thoughtful and profound political figure of our time. A man who isn’t merely historic because of the color of his skin, but due to the content of his character. We have selected a nominee who I hope will serve as a beacon of hope, an example of decency and goodness in the world, and an living embodiment of all that America should stand for. Yea for us.

Now lets go kick the shit out of Old Man McCain.

While Hilliary Clinton’s campaign still struggles on life support, and before the rest of the Democratic party mercifully pulls the plug later this week, I thought I’d point you all to an EXTREMELY good article over that the Daily Kos examining Clinton’s Rube Goldberg inspired mathematical rational for her candidacy. For those of you with lives, or for anyone who has for some reason missed the near constant warbling of her ever smiling minions, I am referring to her claim that she has won the popular vote. This is of course not true, as I myself explained not long ago, but RenaRF over at the Daily Kos does a much better job. Read it here:

My Math Beats Up Clinton Math

And by the way, if you decide to skip the article (though really, go read it, it explains everything), here is a list of states that Clinton ignores in her claim that she is the “popular” choice for the nomination: Alaska, Colorado, Hawaii, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Maine, Minnesota, Nebraska, Nevada, North Dakota, Texas (Caucus only), Washington, Wyoming, and ANY popular votes for Obama in Michigan. 14 States that her argument effectively disenfranchises.

She does however count today’s victory in Puerto Rico, plus the Democrats Abroad, Guam, American Samoa and Virgin Islands, all groups that have no electors in the general election. I think the idea here is that every vote counts, as long as they are votes for Clinton.

Anyway, none of this matters. This is over, then over, then over again. Right now we are just vamping until Tuesday, when this long fight will finally come to and end with the conclusion of the last two primaries. Watch for it.

Harvey Korman, best known as the scheming Hedley Lamarr from Blazing Saddles, died today. He was 81. He was cool, very funny, and will be missed.

Oh, and he was also in the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special. But we’ll let that slide. He did just die and everything.

That’s right, it’s time again for new Fat Robot Radio. Episode 39 is piping hot and ready for serving, so get it while you can. Don’t get left with the crumbs. You don’t want to see everyone else eating Fat Robot Radio, and not you, do you? The jealousy might just give you indigestion.

Yes, I know I took the Fat-Robot-Radio-As-Food metaphor too far. But still, its good episode, so enjoy.

FIND IT HERE

Hey. Superdelegates. Declare. This has gotten way out of hand. Fix this. Hilliary has completely lost her mind, and clearly does not care how badly she damages the Democratic Party. I hate to be so dramatic, but damn, look at this that I found on The Huffington Post:

Clinton Says She’s Willing To Take Fight To Convention

In an interview Wednesday with The Associated Press, Clinton said she is willing to take her fight to seat Florida’s and Michigan’s delegates to the convention if the two states want to go that far.

Asked whether she would support the states if they appeal an unfavorable rules committee decision to the convention floor, the former first lady replied:

“Yes I will. I will, because I feel very strongly about this.”

“I will consult with Floridians and the voters in Michigan because it’s really their voices that are being ignored and their votes that are being discounted, and I’ll support whatever the elected officials and the voters in those two states want to do.”

Taking her battle to the convention would fly in the face of an increasing number of party leaders who say the contest needs to be wrapped up shortly after the last primary on June 3 to prepare adequately for the fall election.

SEE!?!?! It is time to get the giant hook out and pull this flopping comedian off the stage. The audience is turning hostile.

That’s right. It’s real. As of 10:00PM CST, Barack Obama has won the majority of pledged delegates in the democratic race for President of the United States of America. So at this point, all that remains decided is the inevitable decision of the remaining Super Delegates. America has finished calculating only math that actually matters, and the matter is closed. Barack Obama is the winner. The only math that remains in question is the fantasy Clinton math, and really, that’s the problem with made up math. It always changes. Real math always stays the same. Only Hilliary Clinton can decide what those numbers mean, and so they are meaningless.

So I want to say Congratulations to Barack Obama. I can’t believe he actually pulled it off. He really is going to win the Democratic Nomination. The American voters, who have so consistently let me down, seem to be making what is in my opinion the right decision. As it turns out the America that I have always believed existed, actually proved to be out there.

At least that applies to The Democratic Party. The wisdom of the rest of the voting public remains to be seen. Onward to November.

Tonight, on 104.5 Urbana Free Radio Brad Bugos, and Benjamin Phillips of Fat Robot Radio will be quests on “The Show”. Tune your ass in. 10:00pm. If you miss it, then you are lame, unless you can’t catch it where you are, in which case you are not lame, merely living in the wrong town. So move to Champaign/Urbana by tonight at 10:00pm. Better start packing.

That’s it everybody. It’s over. Congratulations are in order for Barack Obama, the presumptive Democratic nominee for president. Don’t believe me? This is the next cover of Time Magazine:

Like that? I sure do.

Oh, and by the way, the small print says, “We’re pretty sure this time”. Damn right we are.

A new episode of Fat Robot Radio is up now over at fatrobotaradio.com. Exciting? You bet. Honestly, I think this last little run of shows has been our best yet. So don’t miss out. (Be warned though. There will be filthy talk, and if you are easily offended, maybe something else would be a better idea for you. I’m just saying.)

——This Urgent Biscuit Tip Is Brought To You By Brain Pan Online, In Association With The National Office of Edible Emergencies——

Never buy Biscuits in the tube again. Nobody needs to eat 12 biscuits in one sitting. Plus, they are super hard most of the time, and basically suck. From today on, settle for no less than frozen biscuits. You can make a few at a time, and they are about one hundred times tastier than those crappy tube biscuits. Just try it once, and see if I’m wrong.

——This Concludes This Urgent Biscuit Tip……The NOEE And Brain Pan Online Thank You For Your Attention—–