Stories like this make me happy:

Female ‘Ninjas’ Rob Richland Gas Station With Sword, Dagger

RICHLAND TOWNSHIP, Pa. — Police said two women dressed as ninjas were responsible for the hold-up of a Richland Township gas station Saturday morning using a samurai sword.

Police said the two women — one with a dagger, and the other carrying the sword — entered a Sunoco station in the 5600 block of Route 8 at about 3 a.m.

According to police, the women tied up the clerk and robbed the store of cash, cigarettes and lottery tickets.

“They were all covered in black and carrying swords, so it did appear that they were dressed like ninjas,” said Chief Robert Amman of the Northern Regional Police Department. “Swords, daggers could be used to seriously harm victims, so this is a very serious crime.”

Police said the clerk was not harmed and is OK.

No arrests have been made and no suspects have been identified.

Rick Lekki said it was hard for him to believe that a robbery occurred across the street from his business, R and J’s bar.

“It’s shocking. Things like that just don’t happen out here. I just can’t believe it happened,” Lekki said.

Who knew ninjas smoked? Seriously. If I was working in a gas station, and two ninjas showed up asking for all the money in the register, I would totally give it to them. When people show up dressed as ninjas, I can only assume one of the following two possibilities is true.

They are:
A. Crazy
B. Actual Ninjas

Either way, I’m giving you the money. Hell, I’ll help you load your car, provided that ninjas drive cars, which I’m not sure about. Maybe they just skittered away quietly on their little two toed shoes.

Fat Robot Radio, Episode 30, is up now here. In it, we say goodbye to Mr Slayer, and have a generally good time. Enjoy.

Just when things were getting complicated in the world, it’s nice to know that OJ Simpson is willing to put his freedom on the line to distract everyone. Selfless. WAY TO TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM OJ!

The Jury in the Phil Spector murder trial have informed the Judge that they are unable to reach a verdict in the case. What does this mean for Spector? Well, a Hung Jury means a mistrial. A mistrial means that prosecutors will either have to try him all over again, or drop the case. So there it is. It is a very real possibility that Phil Spector will go free. I wonder, how long will this push OJ off the news for. Five minutes? Ten? I guess we’ll see.

I don’t have a lot of interest in OJ Simpson. He killed a couple of people and got away with it. Happens all the time. Here are my opinions about OJ Simpson, in order:

1. OJ Simpson is a murdering loser.
2. Ron Goldman makes me sad. His never ending quest to defame a man who has already been defamed is tragic. It’s become his life. OJ might as well have swung by and shot him in the head too. Murder apparently destroys more lives than just the ones that were murdered.
3. Did I mention that OJ Simpson is a douche bag? I thought so.

This is why, when I found out that OJ Simpson had been arrested, I was a little surprised. I guess he broke into some hotel room waving a pistol around and threatening to shoot everybody, demanding something or other be returned to him. I don’t know what, I didn’t read the story. It has something to do with sports memorabilia. It doesn’t really matter. What stuck out to me was that, I don’t know, maybe this is just me, but if I were arrested, tried, and nearly convicted of a double homicide, I would sort of, I don’t know, THINK TWICE BEFORE CHARGING INTO LAS VEGAS HOTEL ROOMS AND WAVING A GUN AROUND LIKE A GODDAMNED CRAZY PERSON!

Also, what if he gets off this time too? Could you imagine? Another long, high profile trial, ending with another questionable acquittal? God. It would almost be worth him going free just to watch public reaction to the fact that OJ Simpson dodged the bullet twice. After that, he might be dodging actual bullets. I guess we’ll see.

Have I mentioned that I like games involving stick figures? Well this one is fun. As the name implies, in this game you are a stick figure with a shotgun, and you have to shoot a series of stick figure zombies. Describing it is way less fun than playing it, so go try it out for yourself. Very addictive.

PLAY ZOMBIE DEFENCE 2

Cracked.com has a good article highlighting some of the better Web Comics on the internet. This list doesn’t cover the many non-internet web comics, such as those found on spider webs, the webbing of hammocks, and the tangled web, woven by the lies and deceit of Sir Walter Scott, or by people in his epic poem Marmion, or something like that. I’m not that well versed in classic English Literature, so I really don’t know, but I’m pretty sure that the period isn’t known for any major contributions to the field of Web Cartooning.

Some good ones can, however, be found HERE. Enjoy.

I’m not sure I why I don’t like this idea, but I don’t.

Led Zeppelin to play reunion gig in London

LONDON - Led Zeppelin will perform a one-time comeback concert in memory of Ahmet Ertegun, a co-founder of Atlantic Records.

The band will perform together for the first time in 19 years on Nov. 26, at London’s The O2 venue, on the banks of the River Thames.

Promoters said the concert would pay tribute to Ertegun — the label boss who popularized Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin and Led Zeppelin — who died in December at age 83.

I mean that’s fine, I guess, it’s just that I’m starting to wish that bands from the past would just stay in the past. Especially when key members have died. Part of me is excited, part of me is afraid that it will suck. Hard to tell. I’m not the biggest Led Zepplin fan ever, maybe that’s what it is. I like them, and I respect them as a group, but just haven’t been that into them. I really enjoyed the Pixies when they got back together, that was awesome, but they had all their members still, and were in great form. I don’t know.

You know what? I take it back. Let Led Zeppelin do whatever they want. If I’m not fan enough to care, then I’m not fan enough to weigh in. I mean, really, three old friends want to get together and play a show. I actually kind of like that idea. Huh. I’ll have to think about it.

The fate of Phil Spector is now in the hands of the jury. I expect that soon he will trade his legendary wall of sound for, well, walls. Did Phil Spector shoot this woman. It’s hard to say. I don’t want to weigh in on a murder case when I haven’t seen any of the evidence, and have no idea what even really happened that night.

Screw it.

Phil Spector is totally guilty. If there is a room, and a gun, and a dead person, and Phil spector is in that room, then I’m pretty sure that Phil was the shooter. It could be a rapper and hillbilly convention, and I still think that Phil Spector is your man. He’s been waving guns in peoples faces for years. Here’s a choice example from Wikipeida:

Stories of Phil Spector’s gunplay mounted over the years, including his discharging a firearm while in the studio with John Lennon during the recording of his cover album Rock ‘n’ Roll, placing a loaded pistol at Leonard Cohen’s head during the sessions for Death of a Ladies’ Man, and forcing Dee Dee Ramone to play bass guitar to Spector’s specifications at gunpoint. Cohen told “Rolling Stone” magazine in 1978 that, “Phil couldn’t resist annihilating me. I don’t think he can tolerate any other shadows in his darkness.”

See? Phil Spector is a Psycho, and will now get the opportunity to see how well erratic eccentricity is accepted in maximum security prison. My guess? Not that well.

Wanna watch Britney Spears strut around at the MTV Video Music Awards like she’s still 18, and not a bat shit crazy, out of shape mother of two? What if I throw in some bad lip syncing and a little random stage ambling? Nope? Well, here it is anyway. Enjoy:

Maybe she didn’t realize it was the actual show. Probably someone told her that it was just a camera rehearsal. That’s probably what it was.