Get a load of this headline:

Bush defends approach to war on terror

This is a little like defending your approach to driving safety to the guy you just rear ended.

Here’s my favorite line from the article:

[Bush] lashed out anew at critics “who make a case that, by fighting the terrorists, we’re making our people less secure here at home. This argument buys into the enemy’s propaganda that the terrorists attack us because we’re provoking them,” he said.

OK so let’s read a little bit of that terrorist propaganda shall we?

The Iraq conflict has become the ’cause celebre’ for jihadists, breeding a deep resentment of US involvement in the Muslim world and cultivating supporters for the global jihadist movement.

Vile terrorist propaganda? Evil baseless slander against the righteous USA freedom crusade in Iraq? No, unless you consider the CIA a terrorist organization. That quote is from the April National Intelligence Estimate. What is the NIE? To explain, I turn to an article from Wikipedia:

National Intelligence Estimates (NIEs) express the coordinated judgments of the US Intelligence Community made up of 16 intelligence agencies, and thus represent the most authoritative assessment of the Director of National Intelligence (DNI) with respect to a particular national security issue.

Ok. So. That might by where people are getting the ‘terrorists attack us because we’re provoking them’ argument from. Maybe. Not from terrorists, from us. The fact that the president said otherwise means that he is either a liar, or grossly misinformed.

I offer this as further proof that when you are dealing with the Conservatives, you are not dealing with people in touch with reality. The NIE is reality. ‘Sinister terrorist propagandists polluting the minds of the American people’ is fantasy. I’m not even sure what ‘enemy propaganda’ he is referring to. Is there some sort of al Qaeda newsletter I’m not aware of?

The problem is that the people running this country are locked into a certain ideology, certain rigid policies, and these ideologies and policies have proved to be irrational, unmitigated disasters. Faced with these disasters, they are now forced to distort the truth in order to hold on to their political power. The fact that DISTORTING the truth doesn’t CHANGE the truth is another reality that they apparently have yet to realize. I just hope they do before it’s too late.

A show premiered a couple of weeks ago called Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. It is extremely well written, well directed, and is chocked full of fantastic performances. Matthew Perry is doing the best work of his career.

I like this program very much, which unfortunaly means that it is doomed to cancellation. I would encourage you to watch it, but I’m sure it will do little good. It would be mean of me to get you addicted to a show, just so that you can endure a painful withdrawal once the fickle Neilson Crap-Mongers decide they’d like to watch “Who Wants To Lick My Dog’s Asshole” instead. It is simply a matter of time. Well written programing does not do well on TV.

In that effort, I have established the STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP DEATH WATCH CLOCK. Feel free to place bets on how long this wonderful series will air before being cast to DVD purgatory ALA Arrested Development.

“Weird Al” Yankovic’s 12th studio album, Straight Outta Lynwood (referring to Lynwood, CA where he is from) was released yesterday. It’s great, and I suggest going and getting it immediately. I’m no music reviewer, as anyone who read anything I have ever reviewed for SLTM well knows, so I will spare you the glowing and schmaltzy love letter that would inevitably pass for my critique. Needless to say, it is Brilliant, as has been every album ever put forward by a man who Kurt Cobain himself called, “America’s Pop Rock Genius”.

Buy it and the other “Weird Al” masterpieces here:

After much pressure, the Bush administration has finally released the April National Intelligence Estimate. This report was put together by the entire United States intelligence community and it concluded, among other things that, “The Iraq conflict has become the “cause celebre” for jihadists, breeding a deep resentment of US involvement in the Muslim world and cultivating supporters for the global jihadist movement.” This document did have a lot of upside for the war backers, asserting that, “Should jihadists leaving Iraq perceive themselves, and be perceived, to have failed, we judge fewer fighters will be inspired to carry on the fight.“

It’s really not that big of a deal, but it paints the war effort in a somewhat unflattering light, so the Administration wanted to suppress it until after the election. They do that. They are the Denial Administration. It’s been six years now, and they are so full of crap that some of it has started to burst from the seams. Their closets are packed so full of skeletons, that every now and then a nice greasy femur slips out, often at inopportune times.

For example, while the nation was busy trying to get the Bush People to fess up about the intelligence estimate, it looks like another important, politically damaging report has surfaced. Here is a story about it:

White House Said to Bar Hurricane Report

The Bush administration has blocked release of a report that suggests global warming is contributing to the frequency and strength of hurricanes, the journal Nature reported Tuesday. The possibility that warming conditions may cause storms to become stronger has generated debate among climate and weather experts, particularly in the wake of the Hurricane Katrina disaster.

The possibility of global warming affecting hurricanes is politically sensitive because the administration has resisted proposals to restrict release of gases that can cause warming conditions.

Someone, somewhere, should explain to these people that hiding a piece of unwanted information doesn’t make it any less true.

Today is the grand opening of the exciting new BRAIN PAN ONLINE STORE. Find it HERE. You can also click the Tee-Shirt on the sidebar to get access to our exciting line of official Brain Pan Online merchandise. Here is a FAQ about the new store.

Can I buy a Brain Pan Logo Tee-Shirt? Absolutely. Many varieties of Tee-Shirts and Sweaters for both men and women are available in all manners of styles and sizes.

What about a Brain Pan cap? You bet.

But Ben, what if I don’t like clothing? What if my lifestyle choice or strict religious sect requires that I wear a standard set of drab grey robes at all times? Then perhaps a Brain Pan button, bumper sticker, or a Brain Pan mouse pad would be right for you.

That’s all well and good, but what about if I want to show my loyalty to Brain Pan Online in a very personal, more private way? I’m glad you asked. I suggest the Brain Pan Thong. No better way to say, ‘I love you’ than with the gift of a Brain Pan thong.

That’s a little creepy. Yes. It sort of is.

I’m a big spender. Do you have anything that says, ‘I’m rich and I love Brain Pan Online’? Do we ever. Try the premium Brain Pan Women’s Track Suit. A steal for only $44.99!

I am slightly more frugal. Do you have anything for me? Of course. Try a Brain Pan Value Tee-Shirt for a modest $9.99.

But my dog loves Brain Pan. What can you do for Fido? What can’t we do. If your lovable little pet partner wants to display his or her love of Brain Pan, why not give him the Brain Pan Dog Tee-Shirt? You’ll be glad you did.

Yes that’s right. The Brain Pan Online Store. Helping me spread the word since, well, today. HAPPY SHOPPING EVERYBODY!

Blind vengeance over the 9-11 attacks has now cost America as many lives as were lost in the attacks.

War Price on U.S. Lives Equal to 9/11

Adding that to the staggering total of completely innocent Iraqi and Afghanistani civilians obliterated in the conflict forces me to ask the question: When is it enough?

The casting cuts at Saturday Night Live have been announced, and I am disappointed to see that Kristen Wigg isn’t one of them. The unlucky heads rolling down the stairwells at 30 Rock are Chris Parnell, Horatio Sanz and Finesse Mitchell. Sanz had this to say on his Myspace page:

I have decided to not return to Saturday Night Live this season. I wish the best to everyone at the show and expect them to have a great season. It’s been a wonderful eight years and I am grateful for all the friends I was able to make and all the great people I had the pleasure of working with. I want to give a big thank you to all my fans for your kind comments and well wishes. I look forward to making you laugh in the future, and hopefully not behind the counter at Burger King.

So there you go. No word yet on a reaction from Parnell or Mitchell. I know what MY reaction would be, and I’m not sure it would be fit to print.

Paranoid? Think the man is out to get you? Scared of the black helicopters and the federal agents that lurk around every corner? Maybe you’re just a little worried about the tracks your web browsing leaves behind? Well the people behind Torpark have you covered.

Torpark is a web browser, based on Firefox, that lets you surf anonymously. Why is this important? Because you would not believe the amount of information left behind by browsing. Just by coming to this website for example, and I just use simple web site statistics software, I can find out your IP address, web host domain, what browser you use, where you are from, what operating system you have, and what your screen resolution is. So yeah, if that is the kind of thing that bothers you, Torpark may be your kind of thing. You can find it here: Download Torpark

A new episode of Fat Robot Radio is up. Steve Jiff is the special guest host for #12 while Brad is “resting”. Thankfully no lives were lost.

Apparently the last people on planet earth not aware that Willie Nelson gets high, work for the Louisiana state police. From the AP:

Willie Nelson and four others were issued misdemeanor citations for possession of narcotic mushrooms and marijuana after a traffic stop Monday morning on a Louisiana highway, state police said.

The citations were issued after a commercial vehicle inspection of the country music star’s tour bus, state police said in a news release.

“When the door was opened and the trooper began to speak to the driver, he smelled the strong odor of marijuana,” the news release said.

A search of the bus produced 1.5 pounds of marijuana and 0.2 pounds of narcotic mushrooms, according to state police.

Let me make it simple for any ambitious state patrol-persons out there: If you pull over Willie Nelson’s bus, there will be drugs on board. The same goes for about 90% of the touring bands on the planet. We, as a culture, have gotten together and decided that it’s OK for Willie Nelson to smoke pot and ingest hallucinogenic mushrooms if he wants to.

I have no idea who felt compelled to issue a citation to WILLIE NELSON for pot possession, but I am certain that the time of that particular law enforcement official could have been better spent doing just about anything else. This is Louisiana after all. Maybe help out with repairing some of that damage from Hurricane Katrina. FILL A GOD DAMNED SAND BAG. Just leave Willie alone.