I assume that everybody on the planet has by now heard of Mel Gibson's horrifically stupid nuclear explosion over the weekend, so I will waste no time in commencing with:

7 Things I Learned About Mel Gibson Over The Weekend

1. Mel Gibson is a crazy Anti-Semite.

2. Mel Gibson is a really mean drunk.

3. Mel Gibson says things like “Sugar Tits”.

4. Mel Gibson knows the F word.

5. Mel Gibson thinks he owns Malibu.

6. Mel Gibson thinks that Jewish people are the cause of all the worlds wars.

7. If confined, Mel Gibson will attempt to piss all over the place.

Defamer has a really funny and informative article about the incident, for any of you who don't know the details. It can be found HERE.

Republicans in the house have decided to vote on a bill that would raise the minimum wage. What does this have to do with restricting the civil rights of homosexuals or flag burning you ask? Nothing. This is all about politics. Just listen to what Mike Castle, R-Delaware, had to say:

“Whether people like it or not, we need to go ahead with it,” said Castle, “There's a general agreement among Republicans (opposing the raise) that “maybe we don't like it much, but we need to move forward with it just for political reasons.”

Inspiring.

They are not raising the Minimum wage because it is the right thing to do, or because the wage is at a 50 year statistical low, or because the current minimum wage only brings a pathetic $10,700 yearly, or because that figure is far below the poverty line for workers with families and they feel that a person who works full time in this country ought to be able to support a family. No. They are doing it for the only reason that they ever do anything decent. Politics. They don't want to look evil during the midterm elections. I don't think its a coincidence that the announcement comes on the same day that Democrats unveiled their 6 point legislative agenda for the next Congressional term. Point 2 is raising the minimum wage. Democrats tried to raise the wage last month, but were derailed by the GOP. Republicans will be recycling that same plan, stamping Republican names on the front, attaching a few profitable riders to the back, and then will claim it for their own.

The Republicans have been forced to masquerade as Democrats in order to retain power, and I just hope that voters will be able to tell the difference.

However, I think the more pressing issue is that Lance Bass is lame.

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

I hate jokes, they take too long to tell and suck most of the time, but I thought that one was funny. It is reprinted from a post by archimedes on the Frogville Planet Message Board.

Due to the fact that I was born 29 years ago Tuesday there will be no posts until Wed, July 26th.

I love birthdays. It's like a holiday, except that no one gets to celebrate it but you. Unless you're Jesus.

Joe Siegel, movie critic, was so disgusted by a scene in Kevin Smith's new movie Clerks 2 that he stood up forty minutes into the press screening, declared “Time to go!'’ and “This is the first movie I’ve walked out of in 30 fucking years!'’ loudly to the assembled press core, then stormed huffily out of the theatre.

Kevin Smith has a response to the incident up on his blog here: www.silentbobspeaks.com

At the end of the blog there a link to an mp3 of a long conversation between Joel and Kevin about the totaly unprofessional disruption, recorded from a phone interview the Opie and Anthony show.

If you are a Star Wars geek, such as myself, you will really enjoy this article, if not, you probably won't get any of the jokes:

Seventy-Five Things we love and hate about Star Wars

President Bush has begun to see his stranglehold over a timid and flinching congress expire. The congress has passed a bill allowing for the expansion of Stem Cell Research funding, despite assurances that the President will employ his first presidential veto ever to block the measure.

DEFIED!

His ability to intimidate congress is fading, and that will make it very hard for him to get anything done in the future. The dogs are turning on their master.

It is going to be great fun watching Bush try to cope with his status as Lame Duck. I do not expect him to take it gracefully. He will spend his last days fighting his decline, and will do all sorts of hilarious and bizarre things in order to look more powerful than he really is, like a political comb over. Nobody likes an unpopular president around election time, especially when said president won’t be around much longer. If power is an aphrodisiac, than failure will prove to be the world’s surest repellant. There is, as they say, blood in the water.

It was only a matter of time before this kind of thing happened:

YouTube Sued For Copyright Infringement

Former President Gerald Ford, the last man standing after the Watergate Drama in 1974, turns a spry 93 years old today. He assumed the presidency after being practically the only eligible Republican on earth not to face charges after the scandal. Since losing the 1977 presidential election to Jimmy Carter, Ford has spent many hundreds of thousands of hours golfing, and is more or less a professional inauguration and funeral attendee. No bullshit house construction or election monitoring for this guy. Weirdly enough, Ford and Carter are now close friends. Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter visit Ford’s home frequently.

Ford suffered two minor Strokes during the 2000 Republican convention, probably at the site of Bush taking over the reins of his party, but has since recovered. He is the only surviving member of the Warren Commission. While never elected President or Vice president, and notable in history for little more than Pardoning a sweaty and disgraced Richard Nixon, if Ford can manage to live until November 11th, 2006, he will earn the distinction of being the Longest Lived President of all time. Gerald Ford: Successful Just By Being There