Don't Go As A Dentist This Year

By Benjamin Phillips

     Dentists hate Halloween. Want Proof? I point you to Dentist offers cash for Halloween candy. This dentist is willing to pay $2 a pound for children's Halloween candy. Last year he collected 917 ponds of candy. That means that last year he paid the children of Farmington Hills, MI 1,834 dollars for their candy. Then he donates it or something.
    This seems like a really bad idea. I don't know what the people in Farmington Hills, MI are like, but I am willing to bet that there are a few parents out there willing to drive their kids all around their sleepy little hamlet, push little Sally Princess or Joe Frankenstien out of the car, and make them knock on every single door in the Farmington area, just so they can snatch their kids candy and trade it in for the cash. It's unscrupulous, but I bet it happens. This turns the dentist from a friendly and well meaning tooth doctor, into a slimy fence for ill-gotten miniature Snickers Bars. It just seems like a really bad idea, and a really good way to screw up children's heads.