Looks like Sideshow Bob is coming back to The Simpsions this upcoming year. Kelsey Grammer must be looking for a way to fill up all that spare time.

     Also Jason Lee has a new sitcom called My Name Is Earl that looks pretty good. That can be found HERE.

     This is an odd news story. A woman from Rio De Janeiro, Clenilda da Silva, a 49-year-old babysitter, had died of a totally normal heart attack. Her family was devastated, and they held a wake for her a couple of days later.

    It is pretty widely known that Rio De Janeiro has one of the highest murder rates around, mainly due to frequent clashes between gangs and the police. There are lots of innocent bystanders being caught in the middle of shootouts, and other generally grizzly happenings.

     But it was in her casket at her wake where Ms Da Silva fell victim to her own tragic run in with these vicious gangs.

     She was shot.

     In the pelvis.

     At her funeral.

     It’s a little bit funny. I mean, the authorities just went ahead and buried her anyway, because I guess there is still, you know, nothing you can do.

     So this brings me to today’s question. Is it illegal to kill someone, who is already dead? Is it assault? Destruction of property? If so, who owns the dead? Are there laws to cover this kind of thing? I would be surprised if the legislature of Rio De Janeiro were so forward thinking as to make doing a drive by on a dead person illegal. Surely it’s in bad taste, especially during the wake, upsetting the family and everything, but still, she was already dead.

     I was in a local restaurant over the weekend at one of those places that only serve breakfast. Upon entering the building I was passed by an old lady and an older, stocky man, and while we slipped past each other in the small vestibule the old man looked up at my wife and I and said, “excuse us ladies”. His wife had a good laugh, and soon they were gone.
     Now, I have long hair. Not metal long, but not short either. Just a little bit longer than, say, the army would approve of. But this man's revival of the “guys don't have long hair debate” caught me off guard. I thought this was over. I mean, hippies didn't manage to accomplish everything they were after, the capitalist pigs still run everything, we still fight wars for no good reason, it is still money, and not love, that makes the world go 'round, but one thing I thought we had pretty much covered was the whole long hair thing. We won that. It is now acceptable for men to have long hair.
    Just look at Jesus. In most contemporary renderings of Jesus he has long hair. I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT OLD ASS BASTARD CALL JESUS A LADY. It just surprised me that such old school notions of public decorum still exist. Probably won't for much longer though.

     This morning at 5:30 am James Doohan died of what was described as “pneumonia and Alzheimer's disease”. Aside from his well known work as Scottie on Star Trek TOS, he was a member of the Royal Canadian Artillery and was on the frontlines on D-Day. (He is not Scottish but Canadian, and is the master of seven accents, scottish being the most famous). He was shot seven times on D-Day, with an eighth bullet lodging in his metal cigarette case.

     I leave you today with this strange but tribute from Neil Armstong:

     “I am an engineer, and I want a Chief Engineering officer like Montgomery Scott, because I know Scotty will get the job done, and do it right. Even if I often hear him say, 'But Ceptain, I donna have enough time!' So from one old engineer to another, thanks Scotty.” I don't know what that means, but it seems to be very nice.
     James Doohan was always my personal favorite crew member, and he will be misssed.

     I was in the back seat of my sister in law’s luxury car on Saturday night on my way to the local grocery store to acquire an emergency bag of Pizza Rolls. On the way we were nearly hit by a large newish looking SUV that was trying to blow a stop sign. We were passing right in front of them at that intersection and they were forced to stop short, resulting in the kind of mild traffic situation common an a Saturday night in a small town. It was the kind of thing where someone does something stupid, everyone has to stop a moment, drivers swear inaudibly at other drivers from safely behind the wheels of their respective cars, and then everyone moves on. That kind of thing. After the moment had passed we resumed our pursuit of late night snacks and had almost immediately forgotten about the incident, as it was really no big deal.

     The SUV pulled out from the intersection and began following us, but no one noticed anything until it crept alongside us, unstable and speeding, with the bare naked ass of a teenager hanging out of the window. We were being mooned. It was alarming to say the least. That had never happened to me before, and I wasn’t even sure that anyone even did that kind of thing anymore. The SUV kept pace with us for several seconds, and then sped off ahead of us, finally turning a coroner and disappearing.

    My sister in law got the license plate number, and both her and my wife wanted to call the police. I spoke in opposition to that plan because A, The police would never do anything about it in a million years and we would likely be the big joke of the department that night, and B, they were just stupid ass teenagers out on Saturday night and we were three people in an expensive car (read: we looked like ‘the man’).

     Eventually calmer heads prevailed and it was not long until we were safe at home, filled with Pizza Rolls, and recounting the tale for her parents. It made for a good story, and enabled me to cross MOONING off my list of things to experience in my life. Now I just need to see a streaker and my collection of juvenile nudity pranks will be complete.

     As a service to any stand up comedians out there who may be struggling to come up with material for their acts, Brain Pan offers the following possible comic rich areas that might be mined for their mid-level somewhat mediocre comic potential seeing as how many of the old standards like bad airline food, mother's in law, and Clinton sex jokes don't really work anymore.

Telemarketers and how they call all the time

Unwanted junk e-mail (possibility for jokes about impotence abound)

Overzealous security in airports post 9-11

The omnipresence of cellular phones

Athletic steroid abuse and how funny that is

     This is just a start. Don't be afraid to keep trotting out light observational humor, as Jerry Seinfeld has all but dropped off the map, leaving that field totally open.

    Another cool site: [url=http://artpad.art.com/artpad/painter/]ArtPad
[/url]
    This is a java paint program that after you make a picture will play all of your brush strokes back to you. You can see other people's pictures and see how they made the, or post your picture for others to look at. Sort of fun for awhile.

     This is just cool. Ans it's free. It's called Google Earth, and it is basicly a 3d model of earth that is interactive. You can zoom in to cities, plan directions, do all kinds of stuff. Check it out: Here

     Are the political entries welcome? Should I just cut the commentator wanna be crap and get back to what I'm good at? SHOULD THE NEVER ENDING PARTISIAN BICKERING END AT LONG, LONG LAST? Let me know USA, because I really don't know. What ever the opinion I will stick to it.