FACT: People would rather watch B-List celebrities dance than watch pro basketball.

     HERE'S THE PROOF

Batman Begins comes out today and mark my words: IT WILL RULE. MY ENTIRE SUMMER IS RIDING ON IT.

     I have the same Birthday as Roger Clinton. I wonder what that means.

     I also have the same birthday as the following people:

     1982 Brad Renfro (actor)
     1978 Louise Brown (first test tube baby)
     1967 Matt Le Blanc (actor) 1955 Iman (model)
     1945 Donna Theodore (singer) 1943 Janet Margolin (actress)
     1943 Jim McCarty (musician, songwriter)
     1935 Barbara Harris (actress)
     1934 Don Ellis (musician)
     1924 Estelle Getty (actress)
     1902 Eric Hoffer (political, social philosopher, author)
     1894 Walter Brennan (actor, singer)
     1844 Thomas Eakins (realist painter)

     Who knew Matt Le Blanc and Estelle Getty had so much in common. “Thank you for being a friend…”

     I suppose by now everyone in the free world has heard the BIG GIANT CELEBRITY NEWS that has WIPED EVERYTHING ELSE OFF THE MAP. Yes that’s right, after much celebration and speculation by the media, the verdict of one of the defining moments of our shared cultural heritage has occurred today: Katie Holmes has decided to convert to scientology.
     In an effort to help shed light on her new religion, I have uncovered the following facts:

     1. It was founded in 1955 by L. Ron Hubbard, and spent much of the early part of his life as a kind of bad science fiction writer before turning his self help book, Dienetics, into a major, if hilarious, religion. It is also wildly complicated, involving past lives and thetan beings, and continued long one on one guidance from an AUDITOR, who basically plots your every move for you. If you want to read about it, go HERE. 

     2. It has been the source of much controversy, including claims of brain washing (imagine that), Deaths of Scientologists due to mistreatment by other members, and have been roundly attacked for its aggressive policy of suing the crap out of just about anybody who criticizes them in any way (I am expecting my summons any day now) including but not limited to hundreds of people and at least three governments (ours included).

     3. They have a policy of disconnection, encouraging members to cut off all ties with anyone critical of their “church”.

     4. There have been several accounts of L Ron discussing his intent to start a religion to make money.

     5. They hard sell their members into giving them vast sums of money (I wonder if they talk about that with their Auditors) claiming that it can help them advance as a Scientologist.

     6. Scientology's Scriptures that say there are evil aliens on Mars and Venus. Really. L Ron claimed that he went there and ”almost got run over by a locomotive.” On Venus.

     Just a few handy facts about Scientology for anybody who wants to know what all the fuss is about. SOUNDS LIKE SCIENCE TO ME. If you want to know more about those kooky Scientologists, visit:http://www.xenu.net/

     America has lost its greatist actor since Brando. Yes, it's true, Dana Elcar, AKA Pete Thornton Of  on Macgyver, has died. I will give you a moment to compose yourselves. As Pete Thornton he bravley headed the Pheonix Institute, which employed Macgyver. I think. That might not be right. Anyway he went blind, both on the show, and in real life, which is quite heroic.

(For those of you who don't remember him, he was the bald guy.)