I, after much consideration, have decided to get into the Reality TV show business. This is exactly the kind of non sequitur thinking that I excel at. Here are five ideas I have in development and am ready to pitch:

     1. Who Wants to Eat My Trash: Contestants from all walks of life have to live in the same house and must line up to eat my trash. Each week they eat a different type of my trash. Pie Eating Contest/Human Interest Drama. The winner gets money or something.

     2. Sister Whore: A prostitute and a nun have to live together. Like the Odd couple, but with whores. The nun gets a 10,000 dollar contribution to her church; the whore gets to stop being a whore.

     3. Go To Hell David Blane: A man who hates David Blane secretly follows him around and tries to screw up and expose all of his stupid crap and periodically punches him in the face and runs away. Contestant gets the satisfaction of pissing off David Blane.

     4. Let Him Speak Now…: A show where a couple of pranksters go around to weddings and try to break up the couples with doctored pictures, startling allegations, fake ex-lovers, and attempts to seduce the bride and bride groom. Like Punked but meaner.

     5. Crazy Ass Ted Nugent: Various B list Celebrities, PETA members mostly, have to spend a week with Ted Nugent on his ranch in order to obtain several thousand dollars in charity donation. At the end Ted Nugent is committed to a mental institution, as that is where he belongs. It’s not really part of the show, it just happens.