I suppose by now everyone in the free world has heard the BIG GIANT CELEBRITY NEWS that has WIPED EVERYTHING ELSE OFF THE MAP. Yes that’s right, after much celebration and speculation by the media, the verdict of one of the defining moments of our shared cultural heritage has occurred today: Katie Holmes has decided to convert to scientology.
     In an effort to help shed light on her new religion, I have uncovered the following facts:

     1. It was founded in 1955 by L. Ron Hubbard, and spent much of the early part of his life as a kind of bad science fiction writer before turning his self help book, Dienetics, into a major, if hilarious, religion. It is also wildly complicated, involving past lives and thetan beings, and continued long one on one guidance from an AUDITOR, who basically plots your every move for you. If you want to read about it, go HERE. 

     2. It has been the source of much controversy, including claims of brain washing (imagine that), Deaths of Scientologists due to mistreatment by other members, and have been roundly attacked for its aggressive policy of suing the crap out of just about anybody who criticizes them in any way (I am expecting my summons any day now) including but not limited to hundreds of people and at least three governments (ours included).

     3. They have a policy of disconnection, encouraging members to cut off all ties with anyone critical of their “church”.

     4. There have been several accounts of L Ron discussing his intent to start a religion to make money.

     5. They hard sell their members into giving them vast sums of money (I wonder if they talk about that with their Auditors) claiming that it can help them advance as a Scientologist.

     6. Scientology's Scriptures that say there are evil aliens on Mars and Venus. Really. L Ron claimed that he went there and ”almost got run over by a locomotive.” On Venus.

     Just a few handy facts about Scientology for anybody who wants to know what all the fuss is about. SOUNDS LIKE SCIENCE TO ME. If you want to know more about those kooky Scientologists, visit:http://www.xenu.net/