IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF HOURS UNTIL MARTHA STEWART IS FREED FROM HER UNJUST BONDAGE. REJOICE OH THE WORLD. SAY IT WITH ME:

FREE MARTHA!
FREE MARTHA!
FREE MARTHA!

      SOON THE LORDESS OF ALL DOMESTIC QUEEN BEES WILL WALK AMONG US ONCE AGAIN. (Or she will at least walk around the confines of her lush estate wearing one of those monitoring bracelets on her ankle for five months. House arrest for Martha Stewart must be totally different from a regular person's house arrest. While say, Jack Crack Head or Jill Steals-from-her-Mother may get a little fidgety after five months confined in a small one bedroom apartment, Martha will be quite comfortable after having roamed leisurely around her massive mansion, whiling away the hours exploring the many rooms of her home she has probably never even been in.) ONCE AGAIN: FREE MARTHA!